perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
