Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize