I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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