We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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