I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
