Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
