Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
