hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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