You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
