Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
