I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
