Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
