Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
