PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
