When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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