He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
