there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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