just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize