I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i've created a new STD.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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