well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
