Come see our sink grown plant.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
