I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
50% drunk capacity currently
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
