I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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