How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
