thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
