good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm at about main and main street
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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