If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
