well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
