Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Holy shit dude........stairs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
