the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
