Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
