And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
