Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize