Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
