He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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