OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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