look no pants
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
