Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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