I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
