the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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