How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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