Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
