Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
