Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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