Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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