we have officially lost it.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
