Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
