it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Randomize
