Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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