Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
