I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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