Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
two words: eviction party
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
