I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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