We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
