I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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