I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
