his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize