i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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