Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Pappa wants mamma naked
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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