I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
