Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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