the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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