Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
