Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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