Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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