I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
