The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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