I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you never un-have a 4some
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
