About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she smelled like a LAN party
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
