Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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