Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
